Location: I-95 South
Time: 11:45pm
Understanding
I've come to the conclusion that what they
told me was true. The hardest part about living is dying and there isn't much
you can do. I try to understand, but I can't, I guess I am still in a stage of
denial. Trying to cope but it's hard to control my mind. This situation has my
complete focus. I wonder do the people around me notice. Notice that I'm in a
zone or better yet a circle analyzing everything to the full extent although it
seems I'm not paying attention, among some other shit that in this post I won't
mention. See I listen and compare worlds and wonder why the fuck am I the one
going through the most shit, the most suffering, the most pain. Nonchalant on
the outside but on the inside my mind is going insane. Tried smoking, tried
drinking but that high is only temporary and when it’s gone, it’s back to
reality. Same life, constant pain, and the same old people that I am never contented to see. Every other month my grandmother on her death bed, and my family preparing
for the worst. The type of shit that make me second guess my whole life....like
damn I kind of wish I went to school to be a nurse. Student loans out the ass
and I don't even have my degree thinking how the fuck am I gone pay Sallie Mae
back 30 gz, and believe me it gets worse…I'm confident I'm running out of time,
not to mention that half of my family members are losing their mind. They say
never second guess GOD and I'm not. I just wish I knew the reasoning behind his
actions. I just need some understanding.
Real shit.. I can relate!!
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